When the caregiver doesn’t care anymore…

Some of you are thinking, how can that be?  Obviously, you have not been a continuous caregiver.  I was raised that families take care of their own and to do what needs to be done.  My dad was the continuous caregiver for my  mom and he was very good with her and would not consider a nursing home.  He was exhausted, stressed and I sometimes wondered if he did it because they were married.  The night my mom died, I saw how much he really did love her and was committed to her.  My parents grew up in the age of not so nice nursing homes and little help from “outsiders.” 

Back to the caregiver doesn’t care anymore….  It isn’t that they truly no longer care anymore, but, an exhaustion that cannot be explained to those that haven’t experienced it.  You are so tired that you cannot think straight anymore ; much less feel anything.  You are numb and just existing and you start to have not so nice thoughts about the person that you are caring for.  Oh,  and you can’t share those thoughts because it isn’t nice and you would look like a monster.  You are being pulled like taffy in about “50 – 11″ different directions.  ( That’s just something I’ve heard all of my life in regards to being pulled in every direction possible.)  The caregiver isn’t just dealing with physical disabilities.  Sometimes they are dealing with the irrational feelings, dementia, or other psychological disorders of the person that they are caring for.  As a caregiver, you can’t express your feelings or your frustrations without feeling like an ass.  There are no easy answers and for you caregivers out there—-You are doing the best that you can and that is good enough.  Get outside help, if needed, so that you may recharge your own emotional and physical batteries.  Letting others help you is not a sign of weakness.  I have heard this saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.”  Well, it takes a village to help your family and friends to care for one another.